‘Father Christmas Talks to the Cat’ appears in Pugnacious Little Trolls, a collection of short stories published by Cockatrice Books, 2021.

Father Christmas Talks to the Cat: A story by Rob Mimpriss

For Ben and Siân

It was rather an elegant grey cat, and it was sitting on the roof of the house where children were sleeping. The moon and stars gave a clean light to the reindeer that were drawing the sleigh and the bearded man who was driving them. The reindeer stopped when they drew level with the house, so that the man could rub the ears of the cat and talk to it.

‘I used to bring gifts to the children,’ the man said. ‘When times were hard I brought food and warm clothes, and in good times I brought toys. Now the children are no longer children, and the toys are different, but they are still toys. Tell me,’ he asked the cat, ‘what will do you tomorrow for anyone but yourself?’

The cat licked the base of its tail with a delicate pink tongue.

‘You think me selfish,’ it said, ‘but I have gifts. Tomorrow morning my humans will find a mouse on the doorstep. I left it not dead, so it will be fresh, and because it suffered torment between my claws the flesh will be sweet. That is my gift for the adults who feed me.

‘For the children who play with me I have a gift also,’ said the cat. ‘When evening comes and they are bored of their toys I will roll on my back and show my belly, but when those soft pink hands come in reach I will bite and tear. Then the children will know that beautiful things are not kind. If they remember the lesson they will thank me.’

A look of wonder came over the man. ‘You deal in cruel and terrible truths,’ he said, ‘and I deal in comfort and happiness.’ Then he stepped out of the sleigh and dropped himself down the chimney into the house where children were sleeping.

I am the author of three short story collections. Reasoning and For His Warriors, originally published by Gwasg y Bwthyn, Caernarfon, with Welsh Books Council support, now join Prayer at the End and Pugnacious Little Trolls in revised editions at Cockatrice Books. My anthology of fiction, Dangerous Asylums, including work by Gee and David Williams, Glenda Beagan, Carys Bray, Simon Thirsk and others, was published by the North Wales Mental Health Research Project, October 2016. I am a contributor with Nigel Jarrett, Rachel Trezise, Tristan Hughes and others to Brush with Fate, an anthology of Welsh fiction translated by Hala Salah Eldin, and to Land of Change, an anthology of radical writing forthcoming from Culture Matters. My work has appeared in Albawtaka Review, Annexe Magazine, Blue Tattoo, Cambrensis, Catharsis, East of the Web, The Harbinger, The Interpreter’s House, New Welsh Review, New Writing, Otherwise Engaged, The Swansea Review, Tears in the Fence, and elsewhere. I am a member by election of the Welsh Academy.

I am the translator of Going South: The Stories of Richard Hughes Williams (Cockatrice, 2015), Hallowe’en in the Cwm: The Stories of Glasynys (Cockatrice, 2017), and A Book of Three Birds, the seventeenth-century classic by Morgan Llwyd (Cockatrice, 2017). In addition, I have translated fiction by D. Gwenallt Jones, Angharad Tomos, and Manon Steffan Ros.